Only One

It didn't take me a long time to notice you were gone.

I was walking through the vineyard and it was such a lovely sunny day. The vines were ripe with fruit and the air was sweet with the various smells of the miles of Allah's creation all around me.

"Did you try the berries?"

"I picked a few but I want to take them in and wash them before I eat them."

"No no...you have to try them while we're out here. They taste sweeter in the sun."

You knew how much I had a thing about cleaning everything before I touched it. But you'd run ahead of me and pick berries at your leisure. You'd run back or wait for me to catch up to place them all in my apron. It was the perfect day. It was the greatest day of my life. No accolades, no fanfare, no major visitations nor drama. Simply just you and I and a sunny day surrounded on our property.

There is nothing and nowhere I go now that doesn't remind me of that day. You were so beautiful. You had your father’s hair...a black so jet that the sun made it seem like a halo. I use to envy your father his hair...and now you have it. The smile...that was all Gullu's. The cadence, the lilt and the ability to get anyone and everyone to laugh along with you...it was a gift that you inherited from my sister. Your high cheekbones, the tilted eyes, the long limbs...and how you would look at me from under your impossibly long lashes...those are Shams...you look so like my bhai. You're quick, sharp and you are constantly waiting on everyone to catch up to you...so much like your father and my father...it never fails to amaze me how you exhibit a bit of something from each of those whom I love. I wonder..if given enough time, would I have noticed something of mummi in you? What about me…what is your connection to me?

You’re precious, you’re perfect and yet you are no longer mine. In the end, I stand in my bedroom...the field is gone, the sun has set, the vines have shriveled and mixed with the earth and the sounds and smells are no more. I stand here looking out into the hallway and see a long corridor, the air is heavy and it is eerily quiet.

Worst of all...your gone and I'm the only one left.

In the end...there is only one person left.

It’s just me now, all alone, without the most important piece of my puzzle of a life…you.

I don’t cry, I can’t there aren’t any more tears left. It’s all I can do in order to function in some type of a fraction of the capacity I sit here thinking you're happier with Him. But then I remember, I'm still all alone, the only one left.